Then There Were Two
One day when we were meeting with our marriage mentors we were asked where we saw our marriage twenty years from now. I immediately had an answer because it had been in the back of my mind for months prior.
I said, “I can see the children growing up, leaving and starting their own lives and the two of us looking at each other and realizing that we are strangers.”
The mentors looked at each other and then back at us and said, “That’s probably one of the most honest answers I have heard since being mentors and the fact that you realize that you are heading in the direction is a very important step. We can work with that.”
Please don’t get me wrong, Mr. Incredible and I love each other and we know that love is a commitment and not always a feeling. We have to choose to love every day. The problem was because we put so much energy into raising our family and overcoming external (and internal) obstacles that we weren’t leaving anything for each other. What I was saying is that, “I can see how couples grow apart, look across the table and realize they are sitting with a stranger.” That scared me and I wanted to change the path we were taking.
That day we decided to make us a priority. Even if it was taking a drive or grabbing coffee for fifteen minutes (child-free). We get all of the comments about the kids out right away so that we can focus on each other.
These posts will be specifically about me and Mr. Incredible’s efforts at keeping our marriage a priority throughout the childrearing years. It won’t and hasn’t been easy as we are often faced with long commutes, sleep issues, the needs of a toddler, kindergartner and teen and our individual needs but we are committed to trying.