Memoirs Of A Modern Housewife

My life is nothing like the Bravo Housewives!

Archive for the tag “Relationships”

Love, Marriage and Finding Our Way


Love, Marriage and Finding Our Way

Mr. Incredible and IThe longer I am married and a mom the more I realize that my family is unique (as all are) and that we shouldn’t try to mold our lives to fit others’. Before, when we were trying to make any decisions we would measure them against what others have done and succeeded in, and in some instances that is a necessary and valuable method. Our problems stem from always using that method. The truth is, my husband and I both bring to our marriage our individual upbringings, ideas, dreams and behaviors. Throw in the mix, three children who have their own personalities, needs, temperaments and you don’t have cookie-cut answers. They require examination from all angles sometimes, wisdom, prayer, most of the time patience and sometimes a leap of faith.

I love a comment Jessica from the Leaky Boob made about their decision to continue to have more children in spite of her horrible history with hyperemesis graviduram, “Every one of us has a different path in life, the choices may appear the same but the reality is with our various circumstances and priorities we can’t imagine making the choices someone else does and we have to just figure out what works for us in our situation.” 

I couldn’t agree more.

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Wasting Precious Time


Othello and Desdemona in Venice, 1850, oil on ...

Image via Wikipedia

I am African american woman married to man of Swedish/Norwegian decent. I was born in Mississippi, he in Minnesota. We both come from very small towns that may not be as accepting to our union. I tend to notice things more than my husband in regards to any disapproving looks and stares. I wish I didn’t care so much, but I do. It has more to do with my sensitive nature than my desire to “look for trouble”.

We experienced some things early on; some family members not coming our wedding, double takes and stares as we venture out.

At a gathering a family friend of my husband (after being introduced to me) told my husband that he wouldn’t have gotten away with being married to me and told him what he’d be called. The guy was incredibly old, set in his ways and actually thought he was being accepting and showing his approval of our union.

I’ve even had a guy ask with disbelief if I was married to “him” (as he points to my husband who was in conversation with a clerk.) I replied, “Yes, I am.”  I was ready for a fight (I can be feisty when provoked), but the guy just turned and shook his head. I will let you imagine what race he was.

I was so surprised and angry that someone who had a problem with our being together had the nerve to ask me about it, but also that I felt that I needed to explain myself or my relationship.

These situations, though few, still occur. Like I mentioned before, I wish there was something in me that I could turn off. So that I couldn’t notice things, but I do. A friend of mine who is also in an interracial marriage told me that she wished she spent less time (in the beginning) worrying about what other people thought and more about her marriage. I’m trying to get there.

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