Memoirs Of A Modern Housewife

My life is nothing like the Bravo Housewives!

Archive for the category “housewife”

MOMH Update April 12-23, 2012


Seed, Time and Harvest

I have a desire to garden but I have been trying to deny the urge. I really enjoyed my square foot gardening a few years back, I called it “Garden Therapy”. It was a lot of work but I enjoyed the labor of getting on my knees, playing in the dirt, watering and even weeding. Every morning when the sun would rise I would jump out of bed (sometimes still in my pajamas) and look at what had grown. I was like a little kid checking on it every few hours. It helped me appreciate being outside no matter what the temperature or weather conditions were because I knew the sun, rain and even wind was purposeful.  Read more…

Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause – Post-Operation Update

Deciding to have surgery on your kids is never easy, you’re always questioning if it’s the right thing to do. Today is day five for Beaner’s recovery from his surgery. It has been a long week as you can imagine and I thought I would show in picture how the day went.

Read more…

(in)spired Review

I know from where I have come from. It is a place that is a thorn in my side keeping pride at bay. It is a past that is only seen on the likes of Lifetime Movie Network, a past that makes me cringe at the very thought of my children inquiring about, a past that can leave me awake at night, a past that threatens my future daily. But God…  Read more…

A Woman’s Design

If you are or have had a great experience with a local midwife (home and hospital), Chiropractors, Massage Therapists, Acupuncturists, Childbirth Educators, Lactation Specialists and other professionals that work directly with pregnant women, in the East-Central Metro area please send me a note at natalia@awomansdesign.com. Would love to connect with you (or them) in the next few weeks to have trusted resources for my clients.

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MOMH Update March 11- April 11, 2012


It’s been a lovely couple of weeks here in the Midwest. We were blessed with a very mild winter and temperatures that got up to 80 degrees sometimes. If you reside in Minnesota this is unheard of. We are usually still knee-high in snow until April.I love when the seasons change, preferably the spring and fall. I am anxious for something new, to enter a new season of life. As I threw open the windows of the house to release the staleness of the winter, I deeply breathe in the fresh opportunities to that are set before me.

As  you can see it’s been about a month since my last post. I really enjoy writing because it helps me to process out loud but I also like to hear from you. It’s encouraging that something I love doing may be helping someone else, whether it is with a tip, a different perspective or a laugh.

Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause Part 4

As we prepare for Beaner to have his adenoids removed, his lip-tie clipped, tympanostomy tubes (ear tubes) inserted my anxiety is increasing day by day. We’ve consulted with a variety of specialists to make sure we’d looked at everything from all angles and to avoid a repeat surgery because something was overlooked. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Every once in a while I question the necessity of the surgery and every time I do something happens that tells me it’s the right thing to do for him. From his frequent waking at night, his sleep-apnea like snoring, his constant ear drum ruptures and infections and also a slight delay in his speech.

 Read more…

Love, Marriage and Finding Our Way

Mr. Incredible and IThe longer I am married and a mom the more I realize that my family is unique (as all are) and that we shouldn’t try to mold our lives to fit others’. Before, when we were trying to make any decisions we would measure them against what others have done and succeeded in, and in some instances that is a necessary and valuable method. Our problems stem from always using that method. The truth is, my husband and I both bring to our marriage our individual upbringings, ideas, dreams and behaviors. Throw in the mix, three children who have their own personalities, needs, temperaments and you don’t have cookie-cut answers. They require examination from all angles sometimes, wisdom, prayer, most of the time patience and sometimes a leap of faith.

Read more…

(in)spired Review

I have the opportunity to review the new Redeemed Collection from DaySpring and I have to say that I was like a kid on Christmas day when the box of fun inspirational items arrived. I will be working on a review for each item and will be posting it next week.

A Woman’s Design

I mentioned that these last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I recently decided to begin taking clients on again and I am so excited about supporting women again. Because I live in a new area I will be spending a lot of time educating the community on labor support and the benefits. I am also looking into connecting with other professionals who support women during their pregnancy; ob’s, midwives, massage therapists, chiropractor’s, etc. Just this last weekend I met with another doula in the next town over. We share the same heart for women, birth philosophies and we just really clicked so we have decided to become each other’s back-ups. I also have a display at a Baby Expo this weekend that I have diligently been preparing for.

I have also started my certification process with Childbirth International to become a Postpartun Doula. I am excited about this process and looking forward to being able to support my birth doula clients during their postpartum period and also other mothers and families who decide support during the “fourth trimester” would help them during the new changes.

Who Am I? Finding Me In The Midst Of It All


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Recently when I am asked, “What kind of things do you like to do for fun?” or, “What do you do to relax?” I am at a lost. I usually sit there dumbfounded because 1. I can’t think of anything and 2. I realize that I have not made me a priority in a long time. I mean a long time.

The last few years, fun for me has been taking a nap, playing apps or reading or getting through a 30 minute show uninterrupted. I have been thinking a lot today about (my life in general) in this area and had a real heart to heart with Mr. Incredible.

Why is it that we as women lose who we are when we get married and have children? There is something about when children enter the picture that we begin to invest every thing within us into them. Your whole world can become consumed by them. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant your every thought is about them and how what you are doing or not doing is going to affect them. I’m exhausted by the end of the day and when the opportunity comes to go out and do something for myself I have to choose between catching up on sleep or doing something I would love; something that would feed my soul, my womanhood, the adult me. If only I can remember what those things were…

I know this is not the case for all women, some have managed to find a balance between you as an individual and you the mom/wife. This is not my reality. I would suspect that the things that attracted your spouse to you are things that he would love to continue to see in the marriage. He probably misses that…I know mine does. But more importantly, I feel a sense of revitalization when I do tap into something that is true to my (other)self. I adore my children and my husband but I have been watching me, the me he married, the me I knew before, slowly disappear and it is not beneficial to anyone.

So I would like to reconnect with me:

The me who would laugh so loud and hard that the back of my head hurt and tears would stream down my face.

The me who plays air guitar at Third Day concerts and screams…every…single…word…to each song.

The me who would drive without an agenda, without a map, without a care in the world never afraid of being lost.

The me who would sit up and write until the sun rises.

The me who would go to an art museum and sit and stare for hours.

The me who loves history and learning about other cultures, willing to try anything once.

The me who loves until it hurts without abandonment, without fear.

The me who took chances, who didn’t question why, but wondered why not?

The me who would lie in the grass, staring up at the sky with the wind blowing against my face and the smell of grass tickling my (allergic) nose ; )

The me who saw a challenge, looked it square in the eye and plowed right into it.

I love to compete, meet new people, learn new things, old homes, new ideas.

My frustration with life has been not allowing her to be seen.

She’s always been there, along with the mommy me, the wife me.

This is me…too.

MOMH Weekly Update March 4- 10, 2012


Not One, But Two Kids Needing Surgery!!! Part 2

Although we can visibly see that she was improving, she had a quick check up with the pediatrician to make sure things were healing well and they were. Poots became aware of what we all were aware of the last two weeks. Her breathe. The surgeon warned us during the post-op consultation that her breath would smell worse than death. We thought, oh no biggie we have a dog whose breath can bring you to tears. The surgeon assured us that her breath would be worse. He didn’t lie. Read more…

Who Am I? Finding Me In The Midst Of It All

Why is it that we as women lose who we are when we get married and have children?There is something about when children enter the picture that we begin to invest every thing within us into them. Your whole world can become consumed by them. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant your every thought is about them and how what you are doing or not doing is going to affect them. I’m exhausted by the end of the day and when the opportunity comes to go out and do something for myself I have to choose between catching up on sleep or doing something I would love; something that would feed my soul, my womanhood, the adult me. If only I can remember what those things were… Read more…

A Woman’s Design

I have updated my availability for the remainder of the year. These dates can be found on my website www.awomansdesign.com, Doulas.com and DoulaMatch.net. If you have any questions about what a birth doula does and what we don’t do I’d be happy to chat via email , on my Facebook fan page or (612) 801-9886. I love talking all things birthy…just ask my poor hubby!

****I still need to complete my Birth Doula Certification through DONA, which was also put on hold when I couldn’t take on any clients during my pregnancy. I would love to have this completed by July 1st, and just need to attend three more births between now and then. If you know anyone who is due in the next few months, please feel free to pass my info along and I would love to see if I may be able to meet her birthing needs.*** I will be offering a discount because of my time restraints.***

TOOLBELT TUESDAY: What’s In Your “Toolbelt”


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I have found the flashlight to be one of the most used items in my “mama toolbelt”:

I use it to look under the bed when the dog has high jacked a toy,
To chase away monsters or scary shadows,
At the first sign of a sniffle or cough I use it to examine ear, noses and throats,
And when the house is finally shut down for the night I use it to get some much needed reading done.

How about you? What’s tucked away in your mama toolbelt?

My Four Reasons


I am a thirty-two year old mother to Riggity (age 14), Poots (age 4.5) and Beaner (7 months). I’ve been married to Mr. Incredible for almost six years and though we have had obstacle upon obstacle to overcome together I couldn’t imagine doing life with anyone else.

I call him Mr. Incredible not because he is perfect but because he knows he isn’t. He wakes up every day to strive to be better than the day before. He has a heart that doesn’t want to break Gods and the love he has for his wife and kids can be seen in his eyes. I dig him and even though he still leaves his socks on the floor, sometimes next to the laundry basket(!!!), I wouldn’t trade him or what we have for anything.

Riggity is my first child who taught me how to be a mom; she is a lot like me with her ambition, love for relationships and education. She has outgrown me in height which means she has been digging through my closets for a few years now. She was a very mild tempered baby, very compliant and as a teen is trying to discover her voice and identity. Though challenging at times it is exciting to see her continue to grow and develop into her own. We have the kind of relationship that we can discuss almost anything. I treasure this time knowing that there is a possibility that I may not always be her primary confidant.

Poots is short for the nickname Pooter. I started calling her Pooter as an infant because she was an unusually gassy baby and still proves to be so as a kid. I know I will have to drop the nickname as she gets older and realizes it’s origin but until then Poots it is. She showed herself to be what doctors and pediatricians call a “high needs” or “highly sensitive” baby very early. She was my first experience with a colicky baby, which really means in laymen’s term “what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-this-kid”. She was demanding and extremely emotional early on but as she has grown these same traits (though exhausting at times) is where some of her best qualities shine. She is extremely imaginative and creative. She has always had a tune that she’s hummed at a high pitch since she was a baby and we are often awakened to her sitting in her room playing and singing loudly. However, there are times I can be awakened to a demanding little girl whose emotions are so much bigger than her which can cause us all to want to run and hide because it can be a sign of the day ahead. I love her so much and every day is a day to learn about how God designed her and how to help her to become that person to the fullest.

Our new little guy is Beaner. I had a rough pregnancy, labor and delivery with this little guy. He was destined to be here as he followed two pregnancy losses. We’ve had a great connection since pregnancy as I was in constant communication with him; heart, spirit and verbally. I wanted him to know that in spite of how horrible I felt and how miserable I was that those feelings were not directed at him and that he was very much wanted. Beaner came 6 weeks early and in spite of him being a preemie he is determined to show that he is an overachiever. He was trying to bear weight and stand up within a few days of being born, he’s been sitting up, rolling over and crawling since five months. He is all boy but also has a gentle spirit that makes everyone who sees him soften and smile. He is definitely my little buddy and it will take everything within me to not spoil him.

They are all so very different and beautiful in their own way. Every day I realize how blessed I am to have them all in my life.

Why I Choose To Stay Home


Young Housewife, Oil on canvas. The Russian Mu...

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I come from a long line of hard-working women. My grandmother was a maid for most of her life and often raised other people’s children while hers took care of each other. My own mother, a single mother of three, would often work one to two jobs at a time to help provide for my brothers and I. We were often at home day-cares or had babysitters who were not fit to watch fish let alone children. There were many questionable things that took place under the care of others. I am not sure she was ever aware of it as our caretakers were experts at putting on a great face when mom returned. I understand they were the best she could afford and I don’t harbor any resentments towards her. Having 2-3 children in child-care even during this time can cost the equivalent of a mortgage.

When I had my first child (Rigitty) I was nineteen years old. I had been living on my own for a few years and had a stable job at a credit union that I’d been at since the age of sixteen. I worked until my due date and patiently awaited for the arrival of my little girl. She came a week later and I instantly began to dread returning to work. I had a six-week maternity leave and had already used one week waiting for labor. I interviewed several childcare providers and settled on one that was close to home and financially suitable. I liked the home setting and per her policy knew she would only take a minimum amount of children at a time. In spite of my arrangements the closer it came for my return to work the more I grew anxious. This feeling is common in many mothers who have to contemplate leaving their little ones for the first time, trusting someone else to take care of their babies and children as best as they would. Although I was in good company it did not help ease my concerns and the first day I dropped her off I sat in the parking lot at work and cried. Every day it grew easier to drop her off (on the surface) and we began to settle into a routine.

As the years came and went there were several changes; career, caretaker and relocations. One thing, however, never changed; the way my heart ached as I dropped Rigitty off into the care of another.

With Rigitty it wasn’t just about having her caretakers witness a lot of her “firsts”, (although those stung). It wasn’t just the cost of quality daycare, having to shuffle her around or miss work if she was sick, trying to negotiate time off to help out in class, seeing her reflect the behavior of others that influenced her (negatively and positively) because she was around them more than me (although those hurt). There was no external pressure. No one told me I was a bad mother for having my child in daycare, in fact many people understood. It was me, my heart wanted to be home.

When Rigitty was eight years old I met a man who I knew I was going to marry (I hadn’t dated after her father and I separated and had excepted the idea of it just being Rigitty and I). As we started to become serious the usual discussion of how many more children, if any, did I want to have. I gave him a range but let him know up front where I stood with having any more children. I told him that I didn’t want to have anymore children just to leave them in the care of another. It was too hard and that I fought guilt even still. I also wanted to maintain a home. I wanted it to be a haven for my husband, a place of refuge and I wanted to be his helpmate.

This desire was contrary to the life I had been living. I was very ambitious; attended and finished college, advanced in my field, and was very involved in my church. I didn’t grow up with a stay at home mother nor did I have any peers or friends who were at home with their children. I was going against the grain and according to Erica Jung I was setting feminism back a few years to even desire this. I had no idea what it meant to be home full-time, in fact, you will learn that I often questioned if I was suited to take care of my children all day, every day. Maybe someone else was better equipped than I, I sometimes wondered.

My decision to stay home is not superior to any woman who chooses to work outside of the home. It is what is best for my family and it is where I find the most peace. I do not know your situation, why you choose to do what you do. I honestly believe that the majority of women who are raising families believe they are doing what is right in their hearts for their family.

Through these memoirs I will share with you the good, the bad, and the ugly; as I struggled with “losing my identity” after leaving the workforce, the fear of depending on my husband to provide (previously having to provide for myself and my oldest daughter for years), facing the loneliness of my friends being at work and trying to manage running a household and maintain a marriage when you are feeling all “touched out” by the end of the day. I believe God put the desire in my heart and if He did He will supply all of my needs to help to me embrace this season in my life.

Blessings. ~Natalia

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