Memoirs Of A Modern Housewife

My life is nothing like the Bravo Housewives!

Archive for the category “health”

Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause – Post-Operation Update


Today is day five for Beaner’s recovery from his surgery. It has been a long week as you can imagine and I thought I would show in picture how the day went.

The night before his surgery he couldn’t eat after 10pm and couldn’t nurse after 3am. If you have been following this story you know that he was still waking up several times a night to nurse. Not being able to nurse him meant a long night for all of us. Beaner woke up at 3:30am as usual and became a little hysterical because he was exhausted (like he usually is) and didn’t understand why I wouldn’t nurse him. Mr. Incredible very patiently packed him up and drove him around town for about 45 minutes. Driving a kid around to get them to sleep was a first for us. Although he did not cry during the drive (Mr. Incredible could hear him babbling and talking in the back) it did take that long for him to fall asleep. When they returned home he woke up as soon as he was placed in the bed. This cycle went on for hours. So Mr. Incredible stayed up with him allowing me to catch some sleep before the big day.

Blood-shot eyed and exhausted we made the hour-long trip (because of traffic) to the Children’s Hospital. Beaner was in good spirits in spite of the lack of sleep and was very calm during all the pre-op procedures.

Beaner and Papa (and Clifford) reading before the surgery

Beaner not sure

Beaner getting Prepped for surgery

The surgery center had everything covered as far as trying to make us feel less anxious. We had the opportunity to speak with everyone who would be involved in the surgery. They were all very patient as I continued to ask the same questions in different ways (just looking for consistency ; ). The surgery center and staff were incredibly kid-friendly. There was a lady who came and tried to show Eli what would happen to help him sleep and then let him play with a mask, etc. There was also a sweet volunteer who brings her dog in for the kids daily. The little details really made a difference in our experience.

Who is controlling this thing?

Beaner trying to make a break for it

Beaner and Maggie the dog

Facebook Post:

“Our sweet little boy is in surgery now, thank you all for your prayers. We’ve had quite a little journey to here and believe that God has been leading and guiding us throughout.”

We waited in the family room as we tried to distract ourselves with nervous jokes and people watching. The surgeon came out, told us everything went fine, except that Beaner had some bronchial and vocal chord spasms. He didn’t go into detail about the spasms and we were just happy it was over and couldn’t wait to see our boy. He was still resting and a nurse would come to take one of us to see him.

An hour went by and just as we both noticed how long it’d been a nurse came out. She acknowledged that it was taking a little while for him to wake up (it usually averages around 30 minutes), but not to worry because his vitals were fine and that he was resting peacefully.

Another half an hour went by (making it 1.5 hrs post surgery) and just when I was about to go and find out what was going on another nurse came out and asked for “Beaner’s mother”. Before he finished that short statement I was practically on his back trying to get to the recovery room.

In the recovery room Beaner was still sleeping with a nurse at his bed-side observing his vitals. He was propped up to help him with his breathing but was looking great. She said she was having the hardest time waking him up and was hoping I could help. I began to stroke and kiss his cheeks in a way that he knows. No budge. I scratched his head and called his name a few times, still no movement. The nurse suggested wiping him with a cool cloth and grabbed one as I continued my efforts.

As I wiped his face and called his name he began to squirm and as soon as he locked eyes with me he almost jumped up (he didn’t know he had monitors hooked up to him). She asked if I wanted to nurse him and I said yes and got comfortable. She brought him to me, still hooked up and he nursed like usual. I am not sure he was aware of what had taken place but I know he found great comfort in having me there when he woke up. That was one of the things I kept asking about. “Could I be there before he wakes up.” The answer was always no, in case they had a hard time pulling him out of the anesthesia or in our case, the spasms.

I totally see God’s hand in that situation. It was something that was really on my heart to do, to be there when he woke up. Even though it was against protocol, the situation allowed for me to be there. I’d requested the same thing with Poots over a month ago when she had her surgery and wasn’t able to do so. Having to comfort and reassure her after the surgery took hours. She was distraut and heartbroken and I didn’t think I could handle that again.

Facebook Post:

“Surgery went well, he had some unexpected reactions to the anethesia, but they got it under control. Doctors said he had unusually large adenoids like Maya. Ear tubes were inserted, and not a moment too soon because he was on his sixth ear infection in six months. Lip tie was clipped also (the least invasive of them all). Overall, he’s doing well and snuggling with mama and daddy.”

Post-Op, beaner snuggling with mama

Beaner and I spent the night at the hospital because he was so young they wanted to monitor him for 24 hours. We snuggled a lot. By the evening his pain was being controlled well and he even ate a soft meal. By morning I think we both were going stir-crazy and couldn’t wait to get home.

Facebook Post:

“<—this lady is excited about the new possibility of sleeping more than 3-4 hours a night…(it’s been like this for about 15 months) – the thought of it makes me a little giddy ; )”

The next few weeks will let us know if the surgery was beneficial. It is still hard to tell now because he is still in a bit of pain that is waking him up at night and he may be teething on top of that. I am glad to have gone on this journey, to listen to my instincts and trust God to guide us. Deciding to have surgery on your kids is never easy, you’re always questioning if it’s the right thing to do. I do believe now it was.

Has any of your children had to have any major surgeries? What helped you before, during and after?

MOMH Update April 12-23, 2012


Seed, Time and Harvest

I have a desire to garden but I have been trying to deny the urge. I really enjoyed my square foot gardening a few years back, I called it “Garden Therapy”. It was a lot of work but I enjoyed the labor of getting on my knees, playing in the dirt, watering and even weeding. Every morning when the sun would rise I would jump out of bed (sometimes still in my pajamas) and look at what had grown. I was like a little kid checking on it every few hours. It helped me appreciate being outside no matter what the temperature or weather conditions were because I knew the sun, rain and even wind was purposeful.  Read more…

Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause – Post-Operation Update

Deciding to have surgery on your kids is never easy, you’re always questioning if it’s the right thing to do. Today is day five for Beaner’s recovery from his surgery. It has been a long week as you can imagine and I thought I would show in picture how the day went.

Read more…

(in)spired Review

I know from where I have come from. It is a place that is a thorn in my side keeping pride at bay. It is a past that is only seen on the likes of Lifetime Movie Network, a past that makes me cringe at the very thought of my children inquiring about, a past that can leave me awake at night, a past that threatens my future daily. But God…  Read more…

A Woman’s Design

If you are or have had a great experience with a local midwife (home and hospital), Chiropractors, Massage Therapists, Acupuncturists, Childbirth Educators, Lactation Specialists and other professionals that work directly with pregnant women, in the East-Central Metro area please send me a note at natalia@awomansdesign.com. Would love to connect with you (or them) in the next few weeks to have trusted resources for my clients.

Seed, Time and Harvest


I have a desire to garden but I have been trying to deny the urge. I really enjoyed my square foot gardening a few years back, I called it “Garden Therapy”. It was a lot of work but I enjoyed the labor of getting on my knees, playing in the dirt, watering and even weeding. Every morning when the sun would rise I would jump out of bed (sometimes still in my pajamas) and look at what had grown. I was like a little kid checking on it every few hours. It helped me appreciate being outside no matter what the temperature or weather conditions were because I knew the sun, rain and even wind was purposeful.

Square Foot Gardening 2

Garden Therapy

 

I also had containers everywhere with  every herb I could find and every time we opened the patio door you would get hit with a mint or basil smell. Because we have a limited outside space right now I think I may focus on doing some container gardening mainly.

Herb and Flower Mix

Melon

Herb Mixture

 

Another bonus was that my children grew to love it. In the beginning (the hard work phase) they helped because I asked but didn’t know what to expect. By the end of the summer they were running into the house to tell me what had grown overnight, would take turns watering the plants, didn’t mind weeding and even oversaw newborn bunnies that were born in my oversized squash area.

Planting Seeds

"Larry" the cucumber

Poots watering

Another reason I enjoyed gardening is because it correlates with life. Everything in life starts out as a seed and requires time before you can reap the harvest. This is true whether you are expecting a good or bad harvest. Every seed has the potential to grow. Over the spring and summer months I will post about our gardening efforts but also how the experience has helped me to look at life choices from a different perspective.

Harvest Time

 

I hope you’ll join me and if you have any good tips please post them below, I’m still a bit of a rookie ; )  

Second garden

 

Not One, But Two Kids Needing Surgery!!! Part 2


Last week I wrote about Poot’s surgery and how recovery was going (or not), poor baby. After the er visit she was determined not to make a return visit so getting her to drink fluids and take her pain meds became less of a battle. Although, I know that the battle was because she was in excruciating pain. I am not sure I would be any better as a patient under the same circumstances.

Although we can visibly see that she was improving, she had a quick check up with the pediatrician to make sure things were healing well and they were. Poots became aware of what we all were aware of the last two weeks. Her breathe. 

The surgeon warned us during the post-op consultation that her breath would smell worse than death. We thought, oh no biggie we have a dog whose breath can bring you to tears. The surgeon assured us that her breath would be worse. He didn’t lie. As a mother, you don’t want to make your kids feel bad so when I snuggled with her I would tilt my head in a way to catch some fresh air but and to not make her feel bad. Tears did however manage to stream down my face a few times because it really was as bad as he said it would be.

Just as we started getting used to the smell she started to notice it. And it really bothers her. I think she may be regaining her smelling senses after the adenoidectomy and this is how she has been the last few days: 

Grandma bought her a years supply of breath mints and she’s been chugging them down, but it doesn’t help. The smell (because I know you care) is coming from the open wound that is in her mouth. There is no mouth wash or mint that will exstinguish this fire. Just time.

On another note. We were trying to hold off on Beaner’s surgery as long as we can, but it is clear we can’t put it off much longer. Along with the recovery of Poots, Beaner was smacked down by not one, but two ear infections. It was abrupt and out of the blue like they always are and the left eardrum ruptured for the second time. This is starting to become a pattern caused by his enlarged adenoids. They are restricting his already tiny eardrums and fluid can’t come and go even with the mildest of colds. So, now that Poots is on the mends we begin the process of getting Beaner ready for his surgery. Thank God it won’t be as long and painful as Poots (she had her adenoids and tonsils removed) and I have the mighty weapon of just snuggling up and nursing him to make sure he stays hydrated. 

MOMH Weekly Update March 4- 10, 2012


Not One, But Two Kids Needing Surgery!!! Part 2

Although we can visibly see that she was improving, she had a quick check up with the pediatrician to make sure things were healing well and they were. Poots became aware of what we all were aware of the last two weeks. Her breathe. The surgeon warned us during the post-op consultation that her breath would smell worse than death. We thought, oh no biggie we have a dog whose breath can bring you to tears. The surgeon assured us that her breath would be worse. He didn’t lie. Read more…

Who Am I? Finding Me In The Midst Of It All

Why is it that we as women lose who we are when we get married and have children?There is something about when children enter the picture that we begin to invest every thing within us into them. Your whole world can become consumed by them. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant your every thought is about them and how what you are doing or not doing is going to affect them. I’m exhausted by the end of the day and when the opportunity comes to go out and do something for myself I have to choose between catching up on sleep or doing something I would love; something that would feed my soul, my womanhood, the adult me. If only I can remember what those things were… Read more…

A Woman’s Design

I have updated my availability for the remainder of the year. These dates can be found on my website www.awomansdesign.com, Doulas.com and DoulaMatch.net. If you have any questions about what a birth doula does and what we don’t do I’d be happy to chat via email , on my Facebook fan page or (612) 801-9886. I love talking all things birthy…just ask my poor hubby!

****I still need to complete my Birth Doula Certification through DONA, which was also put on hold when I couldn’t take on any clients during my pregnancy. I would love to have this completed by July 1st, and just need to attend three more births between now and then. If you know anyone who is due in the next few months, please feel free to pass my info along and I would love to see if I may be able to meet her birthing needs.*** I will be offering a discount because of my time restraints.***

Not One, But Two Kids Needing Surgery!!!


After we were consulting with different pediatricians and specialists for Beaner we started to realize that Poots had the same symptoms (minus the nursing issues). She would sleep 10 hours at night and wake up exhausted. She would be moody and irrational throughout the day. She has had bags under her eyes for years and had began snoring like a drunk person passed out on the floor. Over the years we’ve adjusted her diet in case it was a food allergies or ADD/ADHD causing her behavior issues but nothing worked for too long.

When we had her seen by the ENT (Ear, Nose, & Throat) we were told that her adenoids were bigger than he expected, her left tonsil was also unusually large and her uvula was split like a pair of jeans. The uvula issue was the beginning of a cleft palate that never fully developed. He believed that this combination may be stopping her from getting quality sleep therefore the cause of some of her behavior issues. After discussing it with Mr. Incredible we thought it was the best thing to do and had her surgery scheduled within two weeks.

Poots’ attitude had been surprisingly positive. We were telling her just general terms about the surgery not a lot of details, as to not confuse or worry her. “The doctor is just going to clean your nose and throat out so that you can sleep better at night and feel better during the day. You will be asleep when this happens. We will be right there when you wake up. Oh and you get to have a ton of ice cream and popsicles.” She was pretty excited about being in a better mood during the day but even more so about the unlimited ice cream. The closer the surgery got, the more her anxiety increased but we were able to comfort her.

The day of the surgery I was on edge. Leading up to it, I kept double-guessing the decision. “Is this the best thing for her?” “What if she has issues with the general anesthesia?” It was starting to get overwhelming and I began to fight a lot with Mr. Incredible…about everything.

The whole family went to the surgery center. Riggity watched Beaner in the family room, while Mr. Incredible and I helped to get Poots prepped for surgery. We also consulted with the anesthesiologist, the surgeon and nurses. When it was time to go back, I went with Poots while she got her anesthesia. I had already watched Riggity when she was a baby go under with anesthesia and it was just as hard to see Poots. The anesthesiologist explained all that I would see and reassured me that it was normal. I held her hand as she squeezed mine and finally, she gently let it go. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked back to the family room with the nurse. I couldn’t go through the door because I began to sob uncontrollably. The sweet nurse insisted I sit as she went to get me some ice water. She let me cry and talk and wouldn’t let me leave until she thought I was okay. I won’t describe what it looks like to watch someone, especially your child, go under, but I will say it was hard to watch. I think part of the tears were what I’d just seen but also all of the worry and stress leading up to the surgery.

The surgery was fast and went perfectly. The surgeon said she had the biggest adenoids he’d seen on such a little girl and that having them removed was a good call because her breathing was being obstructed. He also said her tonsils showed signs of chronic tonsillitis. This was such a comfort to us, especially me who was questioning the necessity towards the end. As soon as she started stirring they called for us back in recovery. My sweet baby had been brave; up until that point. The nurse gave her to me as I rocked her in the rocking chair and she cried for about an hour. We were warned that she may be a bit emotional and she was. I was so glad to be there to snuggle with her.

Recovery has been rougher than expected, but she is showing us how strong she is. Yesterday we had to take her children’s hospital as she’d become dehydrated and her pain was out of control. She really went downhill fast after a cycle of vomiting more than drinking, and being unable to take or hold down her medicine. She wasn’t using the bathroom and she was incredibly lethargic.

At the hospital, they gave her a few hours of iv fluids, anti-nausea meds and a different pain med. They think her body was having a hard time metabolizing the Tylenol Codeine which was making her incredibly nauseous. After a tonsillectomy, you have to drink even through the pain because It’s an important part of the healing process, but if you’re nauseous you don’t want to drink. This started the downward spiral.

During her stay last night she quickly ate four popsicles….it was so nice to see her eat…something. We’re home now and the pain is being manage with three different meds now (including a anti-nausea med). She is definitely feeling better, than yesterday. As I write this she is drawing pictures of all the food she wants to eat when she can.

Big thanks to Grandma for all the meals, and for her Aunty for getting me out of the house and being available for any needs big or small. Big sister Riggity for being such a helper the last few days with both kids and Mr. Incredible for being such a sweet daddy and for not taking the days leading up to and the day of surgery personal. All of the prayers and gifts that have been sent, we really appreciate it. We are on the road to recovery now and I am looking forward to seeing her feeling 100% and the benefits of a good nights rest.

MOMH Weekly Update February 26- March 3, 2012


I am trying something new. Instead of several different postings throughout the week I am going to (attempt) to create a weekly digest of posts. From there, readers will be able to select a topic that interests them specifically and skip over the rest. I will also start to include updates on A Woman’s Design as I am beginning to take on more clients and make plans for the future in regards to my business. With everything going on (you’ll see below), this is the most efficient (and probably consistent) way to blog for me right now. Let me know what you think. Blessings, NOH

(Update) Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause Part 3

The last time I posted about Beaner and his sleep issues we had an appointment scheduled to see a pediatric ENT. Since then we have had two consultations. The first guy’s bedside manner was awful and he just said, “Yes, he has a lip-tie and enlarged adenoids, not sure about the tongue-tie but I guess I can check for it while he is under.” Didn’t think twice about surgery for our one year old and also clearly did not respect the opinion of the lactation consultants and the pediatrician. We immediately knew that if we decided to have the surgery that he would not be anywhere near our baby. Read More…

Not One, But Two Kids Needing Surgery!!!

Can’t sleep…thinking about how blessed I am. Poots had to have her adenoids and tonsils removed. After we were consulting with different pediatricians and specialists for Beaner we started to realize that she had the same symptoms (minus the nursing issues). She would sleep 10 hours at night and wake up exhausted. She would be moody and irrational throughout the day. She has had bags under her eyes for years and has began snoring like a drunk person passed out on the floor. Over the years we’ve adjusted her diet in case it was a food allergies or ADD/ADHD causing her behavior issues but nothing work for long. When we had her seen by the ENT we were told that her adenoids were bigger than he expected, her left tonsil was also unusually large and her uvula was split like a pair of jeans. The uvula issue was the beginning of a cleft palate that never fully developed. He believed that this combination may be stopping her from getting quality sleep therefore the cause of some of her behavior issues. After discussing it with Mr. Incredible we thought it was the best thing to do and had her surgery scheduled within two weeks. Read more…

A Woman’s Design- Plans For The Future

I stepped away from actively taking on new doula clients during my pregnancy with Beaner and during the first year to allow my body to recover and adjust to all the changes that were taking place. Read more…

(Update) Sleep Issues And An Overlooked Cause Part 3


English: A pediatric patient prepared for a po...

Image via Wikipedia

The last time I posted about Beaner and his sleep issues we had an appointment scheduled to see a pediatric ENT. Since then we have had two consultations. The first guy’s bedside manner was awful and he just said, “Yes, he has a lip-tie and enlarged adenoids, not sure about the tongue-tie but I guess I can check for it while he is under.” Didn’t think twice about surgery for our one year old and also clearly did not respect the opinion of the lactation consultants and the pediatrician. We immediately knew that if we decided to have the surgery that he would not be anywhere near our baby.

We scheduled an appointment for Beaner to see the same pediatric ENT Poots saw and we really like him. He was patient, considerate when he explained the pros and cons of doing anything. He agreed his adenoids were indeed enlarged, he had a lip-tie and wasn’t 100% sure about the tongue-tie but wasn’t dismissive about it. His suggestion was to wait on the surgery because he felt like something was being overlooked with Beaner’s tongue coordination. He recommended we see a speech/voice therapist first to make sure we aren’t overlooking anything so that he doesn’t end up needing more than one surgery.

Mr. Incredible and I agreed. We are patient and do not want to rush anything, he is so little and at this point I seem to be suffering the most from lack of sleep not him. We are taking care of Poots now and when she is fully recovered will continue to devote time to getting Beaner sleeping better.

8 Weeks to Real Foods – Week 1


I have enrolled in the 8 Weeks to Real Foods with Vintage Remedies and a few weeks ago decided to  journal my progress on my blog Memoirs Of A Modern Housewife  every Monday.

My first Monday post was delayed as we found out that not one, but two of our kiddos need to have surgery in the next few weeks. So the last few weeks have been pretty crazy with 45-60 minute drives (one way) to see doctors and specialists.

Isn’t that just like life? Every time you plan to do something, especially something good, a monkey wrench gets thrown in the mix. Fortunately my journey to 8 Weeks to Real Foods didn’t stop completely.

The first week (or two, depending on how big of each change is for you) was:

  • What we’re eliminating: non-hydrating or nourishing drinks
  • What we’re adding: hydrating and nourishing drinks

My biggest challenge has been not adding honey to my tea. I take a ton of vitamins and supplements, most that are gross and I usually chug them down with a small glass of juice or cold herbal tea that I brew daily. It took a few days to get used to drinking the tea without honey. I must admit it’s not as enjoyable, but maybe it was the sugar from honey I craved.

I’ve learned that diet soda, which I don’t drink a ton of anyway, raises my blood sugar as does honey (it instantly hits the blood and keeps my levels high). Isn’t that crazy?  Also, after not drinking soda for a while, when I did have a sip at a party it was like drinking pure sugar water…it was too sweet. Small victory : )

I am drinking more water, which I should be doing anyway. My biggest challenge with drinking more water is being raised in the south. The water looked like rust sometimes, it was super soft but it turned me off.  I bought the hubs and I one of those Brita water bottles with the filter so that I can drink water where ever I am. I am refilling it a few times a day.

That’s about it. I apologize again for the delay and that it wasn’t on a Monday like I originally planned.

The second week is:

  • What we’re eliminating: refined sugars
  • What we’re adding: natural sugars

Oh boy!

It’s important to note that the 8W-RF series is ongoing so you can start and stop at any time (depending on how difficult a change is or if life makes it a little more challenging).

If you would like more info or to join me on this  journey you can sign up here.

 I would love to hear your stories, successes and struggles. Hopefully we can encourage each other to eat to live. Leave a comment or send me a note at natalia@awomansdesign.com.

Finally Accepting My Limitations


20120220-232853.jpg

Have you had something, a change of sorts, in your life that you resisted like the plague. You think that the less you acknowledge it the less real it is? I’m not talking about denial but more of a lack of willingness to accept what is.

It feels like you’re swimming upstream, or constantly struggling against something intangible?

That is how I have felt the last six months…

When I was pregnant with my son I was surprisingly diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I say surprisingly because I never showed any hint of GD in my previous pregnancies and I was barely eating during this one. You can read the birth story if you are interested in the details. I was immediately placed on insulin four times a day and had to strictly monitor my carb and sugar intake.

During my three-day labor and after delivery my blood sugar was being monitored periodically. When you have gestational diabetes the condition is supposed to correct itself after 15-20 minutes following delivery of the placenta. My blood sugar was still very high hours after delivery of our son but they chalked it up to the long and hard labor and delivery.

The next morning I was tested upon waking and had a fasting blood sugar of 40. If you are not aware of what blood sugar numbers mean, anything under 70 is a cause for concern, a number of 40 meant I was close to going into a hypoglycemic seizure. I was quickly surrounded by nurses who had me rapidly consume orange juice and graham crackers and who kept checking my blood sugar every few minutes.

We finally got it at an acceptable number and after a consult with my endocrinologist during my discharge we agreed for me to check my levels every morning for a few weeks to make sure they were returning to normal and then to follow-up with my regular doctor in six months for a a1c test (an A1C test result reflects your average blood sugar level for the past two to three months).

Months had gone by and I had continued to eat the diet that was recommended during my pregnancy but not as strict. I was incredibly tired, more tired than my previous postpartum periods but I assumed it was because of the c-section recovery, rough postpartum period, and a baby who couldn’t sleep. These are all things I am explaining to my primary doctor during my six month check up. I was also experiencing blurry vision and the inability to shake any cold. In fact, I was always fighting something. She had labs ran and told me she would call me with the results, if there was nothing to worry about she would just send them in the mail. This was a Wednesday.

Friday evening I received a call from my clinic. It was after business hours and my heart sank immediately. I took the call in the bathroom as the children were all clammering for my attention right at that moment. My doctor, in an almost apologetic tone told me that my A1C levels were at a 10%. (For people without diabetes, the normal range for the hemoglobin A1c test is between 4% and 6%. The higher the hemoglobin A1c, the higher the risks of developing complications related to diabetes. )

She went on to tell me that I had an average of 275 eAG (estimated average glucose) and that I needed to be put on insulin immediately. I was silent for a while and I remember she called my name a few times. With a large lump in my throat I reiterated what she said and confirmed her diagnoses. “Yes, you have diabetes now and it needs to be treated right away. I’m sorry.” she said.

I swallowed my tears, thanked her for calling me so late on a Friday and promised to call first thing in the morning to get an appointment with the endocrinologist.

I knew that after gestational diabetes that I had a 50/50 chance of developing full-blown diabetes but that was supposed to be later in life. After the hard pregnancy, labor and delivery I felt cheated like I didn’t have a chance to try to avoid it and that I couldn’t catch a break.

I went into the bedroom where Mr. Incredible was rocking Beaner and laid on the bed and sobbed quietly. He put Beaner down in the crib and softly stroked my hair and apologized for what was happening in my body. He agreed that it wasn’t fair and that he would do what ever to help me deal with it. Riggity came in and was very concerned when I took a call in the bathroom followed by soft crying. Mr. Incredible explained what was going on because she was old enough to understand and I was okay with her knowing.

I met with the endocrinologist and was put on an insulin regime very similar to when I was pregnant. This time the meeting was more serious as this disease was no longer temporary and had many more risks and complications than gestational diabetes. We picked up two bags of supplies from the pharmacy and my heart ached as I considered what was to become the rest of my life.

Months had gone by and I religiously monitored my blood sugar four or more times a day, took my insulin and watched what I ate. I’d purchased a stack of books as it is my nature to study up on any challenge I face and tackle them with as much knowledge as was available. This time the books stayed in the same spot, untouched. Every time I tried to read them an overwhelming sense of confusion and mental exhaustion would overtake me.

I was managing things fine for a while but soon I began to have more and more hypoglycemic episodes. Blurry visions, headaches, my tongue would go numb and I would stutter and slur when I talked. I was afraid to drive, afraid to be home alone with my kids and just plain afraid. I noticed that with my diet I was able to keep my blood sugar stable so on a trial I stopped taking my insulin for a week (but continued to monitor my numbers). My hypoglycemic episodes began to spread out and I was starting to feel a little normal again. Every once in a while, if I had pizza or Chinese food, my levels would be high but I knew it was because of those things I ate.

I showed Mr. Incredible my numbers and explained my concerns about being on the insulin. We both thought that maybe the insulin was unnecessary or still too much. (The doctor had already lowered the dosage prior). When I called and explained to the doctor he encouraged me to continue taking the insulin but to schedule an appointment so that we can discuss my numbers in person.

I went back and forth with his advice. He wasn’t there when I was about to black out while holding my baby or while driving. I decided to continue to stay off of the insulin until my appointment which was a week away.

When I met with the doctor he looked at my numbers (after I told him I went against his orders and stopped the insulin) and said I was wise to stop taking the insulin. It looks (at this time) to be unnecessary and that it was causing more harm than good. We agreed to have me continue to monitor my levels in the morning and before bed and to see him again in six months for another A1C test. He also wanted to check to see what my A1C was since being on the insulin, to see if it helped at all.

I left feeling pretty optimistic. Maybe my body had a delayed reaction to the gestational diabetes and was recovering slower than usual.

A few days later I received a letter from his office with the results of a few tests he’d run. I called and asked him to explain them to me. One test was another A1c test which showed I was at a level of 6.5%. That was great news, a huge improvement from the 10% I was just a few months prior. He also ran a test to check on the function of my pancreas.

What the results found was that I was not Type 2 diabetic like he originally thought, but that my body was producing antibodies for Type 1. In short, I have an autoimmune disease which is attacking my pancreas making my body think that any insulin I produce is harmful and needs to be stopped and not processed correctly.

We asked him why was I able to manage the symptoms with my new lifestyle and he thought that perhaps I was going through a “honeymoon phase”. It is a term that endocrinologists use when a diabetic’s blood sugar levels stabilize without medication for an unknown reason. He suspects that in 6 months my pancreas will “poop out” (as he put it), or stop producing insulin and eventually I will be 100% insulin dependent.

After I had time to digest the new information I received I decided that I wasn’t going to sit back and wait for my “pancreas to poop out”. I am going to do whatever I have the ability to do to slow down this runaway train of a diagnosis.

I am still no longer on insulin for the time being and I have been working (in conjunction with my endocrinologist) with a naturopathic doctor who has been helping me treat the disease and not just the symptoms. We have been able to keep my blood sugar stabilized and limit those hypoglycemic episodes, slow down and treat neuropathic pain (nerve pain associated with diabetes), and hopefully other diabetes complications (vision and heart damage).

Accepting My Limitations doesn’t mean that I will roll over and let diabetes take over me. The mindset of “whatever happens happens” is not an option for me.

Accepting my limitations is adjusting my expectations as a mom, specifically a stay-at-home-mom. I am more tired than not, and I confess that I am hyper-sensitive to not being able to do all that I use to. It’s not beating myself up when every meal that week wasn’t prepared from scratch (my choice to do), or the house isn’t up to my standard of cleanliness, or the list of things I would like to accomplish now is put on the back burner.

It’s being more purposeful in the things I take on, knowing I have so much energy in a day. It’s being more purposeful as I am educating my children about eating to live and not living to eat, making wise choices and developing a different palate than the typical “American diet”. It’s seeing exercise not as a cute trend but as a necessity just as important as medication. It’s excepting help from friends and family when needed and not feeling guilty if I can’t do everything and be everywhere.

Most importantly I believe that my diagnoses was not a surprise by God and that there are silver linings, although it took me a while to see them.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

In the event that I become completely insulin dependent I will at least know that I have tried everything that I could have done and will be okay with the next necessary treatments.

What about you? Do you have something that makes life a little more challenging? How are you overcoming?

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