Moms: Can We Agree to Disagree?
Bottle-feed or Breastfeed? Co-Sleep or Crib? Stay home or Daycare? Cloth diaper or Disposable? Attachment parenting or Free-range parenting? Homeschooling or Public School? To vaccinate or not?
So many parenting choices. It’s exhausting sometimes.
Let’s assume that each mom has their own child’s best interest in mind. I know that there are exceptions to the rules; selfish, immature women who didn’t want children and those that shouldn’t be parents.
That’s not who I am talking about today. I am talking about you and I. Your typical mother who has had her own life experiences that mold and influence the way we act, think and parent.
The variables that make her the mother she is:
- The way she was parented
- Her Mental Health
- Her Physical Health
- Does she have support?
- Does she have a partner or is she parenting alone?
- What’s her financial situation?
- Religious/Faith/Philosophical Beliefs?
- How was their birth experience?
- Their health?
- Their temperament?
- Their personality?
As you can see there can be several combinations when you consider a mother and each child’s personal situation. Soooo…why do we assume we know what’s best for them?
Sure, there are times when we as parents make decisions with a lack of information and later come to more knowledge. Hopefully, we make the necessary changes. When you know better, you do better.
But it is really presumptuous of us to always automatically assume that another mother has made a decision based on ignorance. We are especially guilty of this when it is a decision or way of doing something that it different from our own.
The old saying, “People want to know how much you care before they care what you know.” Too many times I have seen people blast another mother with information and unwanted advice without taking the time to hear her specific situation. Especially online. We say things to each other online that we would never say in person.
Another mother’s decisions may not be your decisions, but they are hers. She already has to listen to that accusing voice that tells her that she is “doing it wrong”, or “not a good mom”. Let’s not give credence to the enemy of our soul who makes us second guess our every decision.
So before we go on a crusade to get everyone to parent like us, let’s lay a foundation of seriously understanding where someone is coming from and then seeing if our great way of doing things really make sense for her and her family.
What do you think? Have you ever felt judged for a choice you made? Are there some parenting choices that are not up for discussion?