Memoirs Of A Modern Housewife

My life is nothing like the Bravo Housewives!

Wasting Precious Time


Othello and Desdemona in Venice, 1850, oil on ...

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I am African american woman married to man of Swedish/Norwegian decent. I was born in Mississippi, he in Minnesota. We both come from very small towns that may not be as accepting to our union. I tend to notice things more than my husband in regards to any disapproving looks and stares. I wish I didn’t care so much, but I do. It has more to do with my sensitive nature than my desire to “look for trouble”.

We experienced some things early on; some family members not coming to the wedding, double takes and stares as we venture out. I’ve even had a guy ask with disbelief if I was married to “him” (as he points to my husband who was in conversation with a clerk.) I replied, “Yes, I am.”  I was ready for a fight (I can be feisty when provoked), but the guy just turned and shook his head. I will let you imagine what race he was.

I was so surprised and angry that someone who had a problem with our being together had the nerve to ask me about it, but also that I felt that I needed to explain myself or my relationship.

These situations, though few, still occur. Like I mentioned before, I wish there was something in me that I could turn off. So that I couldn’t notice things, but I do. A friend of mine who is also in an interracial marriage told me that she wished she spent less time (in the beginning) worrying about what other people thought and more about her marriage. I’m trying to get there.

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2 thoughts on “Wasting Precious Time

  1. Very sad, but true post. I too am in a mixed marriage, and I am continuously surprised about how ignorant people came be in this day and age. Fortunately, I have not had to experience anyone being that rude to openly question my relationship. It may have to do with the fact that I have been living I Europe for the past 10 years. People over here seem to be much more open minded when it comes to mixed marriages. The problem is that we still segregate ourselves too much in our society. I stopped referring to myself as African American a long time ago. I was born and raised in America, and I can’t even trace my ancestors back to slavery. You can look at me and tell my race, no need to further classify my nationality to distinguish myself. I’m just an American, plain and simple. Sorry for that mini rant. I hope that I didn’t offend you. Keep your head up and follow your friend’s advice. Concentrate on your marriage, and as they say “let the haters hate”. And if someone questions your relationship again, leave them with the words of Abraham Lincoln. “It is better to be thought a fool, than to speak, and remove all doubt”.

    • @ 2cents no offense taken. In fact you make a great point about identifying yourself as an America. I am surprised sometimes that it’s still an issue but it may always be. Thanks for your comment.

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