Wasting Precious Time
I am African american woman married to man of Swedish/Norwegian decent. I was born in Mississippi, he in Minnesota. We both come from very small towns that may not be as accepting to our union. I tend to notice things more than my husband in regards to any disapproving looks and stares. I wish I didn’t care so much, but I do. It has more to do with my sensitive nature than my desire to “look for trouble”.
We experienced some things early on; some family members not coming to the wedding, double takes and stares as we venture out. I’ve even had a guy ask with disbelief if I was married to “him” (as he points to my husband who was in conversation with a clerk.) I replied, “Yes, I am.” I was ready for a fight (I can be feisty when provoked), but the guy just turned and shook his head. I will let you imagine what race he was.
I was so surprised and angry that someone who had a problem with our being together had the nerve to ask me about it, but also that I felt that I needed to explain myself or my relationship.
These situations, though few, still occur. Like I mentioned before, I wish there was something in me that I could turn off. So that I couldn’t notice things, but I do. A friend of mine who is also in an interracial marriage told me that she wished she spent less time (in the beginning) worrying about what other people thought and more about her marriage. I’m trying to get there.